God may plant a melody in our hearts for us to sing through the gift He has given us. And with good intention, we may seek to develop the gift through instruction and discipline. However, in developing the gift, the melody may seem to be crushed. And we may end up to some degree, while using our gift, focus on training and discipline for the sake of “making it work”. Whether it’s to please others, to avoid embarrassment, keep up with others who have the same gift or for some other reason, we may sort of hush our melody and instead get somewhat lost attempting to form our gift into a mold it was perhaps never meant to be placed. I pray that this story might minister to those who need to start singing again. :)

Tall peaks glistened under heavy cloud cover.

Her heart trembled a little at their magnificence, but she took courage. She had trained for years and now was the time to accomplish her dream. Years of planning and prayer were behind her.

She knew she had been called.

With passionate zeal she marched forward. With eager steps she ran the narrow trail. With purposeful focus she narrowed in on her goal.

Slowly the path turned higher and soon the incline increased. Occasionally she stumbled, a few times she slipped, but on she pressed.

About an eighth of the way up rain began to fall, clouds gathered and the way began to become covered in mist. Feeling troubled, she prayed and pressed on, though with much more difficulty.

Another hour passed, and suddenly she realized she had simply climbed up and down in a circle. Thunder broke out and she took refuge under an overhanging rock. Surely this would pass.

And it did. Moody skies returned once again, the path more slippery than before.

No matter, she would press on.

But this time energy lagged, her courage felt perplexed and her confidence slowly drained. Finally pausing she stopped and looked ahead. Miles waited before her. The mountain’s craggy top seemed like a jagged knife cutting through all her dreams.

“Why, Lord?” She prayed and knelt down in distress. She had been called to this. She knew she had been. But circumstances …they were beginning to feel overwhelming. She couldn’t stop now, she had to keep going. This was what she had trained for. This is what she had planned on. She could do this. She must do this. If she failed? Everything would be lost. All she had hoped for would be gone.

Pressing on, she pulled all her training into high gear. Soon steps became monotony, breathing became a dull rhythm framing the thump, thump of her walking stick. Joy and zeal melted into the clouds behind her and the vista ahead became more and more arduous of a companion.

Finally she stumbled and allowed herself to fall. Glancing behind, she saw that only a fourth had been crossed. On one side of the mountain.

“Lord, this isn’t exciting anymore. My hope is gone. I’m wrestling with doubts. Have I heard You wrong?”

At that moment, it was as if a still silent Voice nudged her quietly with one word: surrender.

She started suddenly. Concern rising within. Wait. A vision of the past throbbed through her memory. No, she couldn’t …could she? Last time she had tried to climb the mountain that way, everyone had laughed. She had embarrassingly stumbled, fumbled and tumbled down. Her untrained feet had lost their footing and she knew that she could never do that again. Instead, she had submitted herself to practicality, discipline becoming her teacher.

However, like a trembling flower within, planted long ago and waiting for the coming blossom, a melody of hope sounded. That gift. That way of climbing these mountains–fulfilling this calling, that was like a song in her soul. That way of running she had always longed to do. But how could she? It always ended in a sprawling heap of shame.

Surrender.

Fear rose up this time. If she did surrender, what would become of her? Perhaps the Lord would call her to march forward in a straight line, call her to what she was tired of doing even now. Or, maybe she would have to turn back. Then, what would her teacher think of her? What about the others that knew her dream and the determination to fulfill it? What then?

Could she?

Tiredness begged for release. Heart weighed heavier than the stones by her feet. Bowing her head with tears, she let go.

“Lord, the calling’s Yours. I guess I was trying to fulfill it my way, wasn’t I? Felt that it couldn’t be done without strictly following the protocol I have been taught. Felt I must please those who brought me here. Knew that I had a good chance of failing unless I tried hard–and so felt I must do it the way I thought it should be done. Lord. It’s okay. If You want me to turn around now, then I will. If You want me to press forward in a straight line no matter how I feel, then I will. Lord, whatever it is, it’s Yours now.”

It was hard. With a deep breath, she lifted her head and looked up. The clouds still netted themselves thickly above her head. The smell of rain still hung in the air.

Stepping forward, she pressed on in a straight line. Yet, slowly, as though something had been lifted from her shoulders, she found herself feeling lighter. Hope began to lift its battered head inside her soul. And then …

slowly, quietly, there was a gentle call.

Sing your melody.

The melody He gave you. The melody you tried to sing so many years ago when embarrassment caused you to hide it within.

Could she? Could she take the risk? Training had guided her feet, knowledge had gained her a level of skill …but now? Could she add the melody? That song long buried in her heart?

Yes. Yes.

She didn’t know when it began, when her first foot lifted in a skip from the ground. But the breeze began to lift up the wisps of hair about her face. The sky began to lighten and the summit? It was but footsteps away.

And suddenly, there they were …springs. Water crystal and clear. And the sun? Breaking through the clouds it covered the landscape before her with gold. It took moments to reach the low plain ahead.

It was then that she stopped.

And laughed.

And knew.

Surrender meant rest.

Meant renewed hope.

Meant freedom to sing.

There would still be challenges, still be lessons to learn, still be more surrenders …

…but now?

It was time to sing.

Sing to an audience of One. Not to her classmates, not to her teachers, not even to follow her own expectations. But to sing alone the melody He had called her to sing.

Stretching out her arms, she lifted her face to sun which was glistening from behind the next peak.

She couldn’t wait to begin.

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31